I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
