a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just tell him i said nine months
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The power of my boobs compel you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
