Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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