the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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