We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
40s are totally the cure
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
