walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
