well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
