Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
