i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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