In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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