First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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