Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
