i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
