I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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