Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize