I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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