Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
