Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
