That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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