All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize