We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
