Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
