just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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