Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
