at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yo dont text me then not text me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
