I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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