just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize