Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
