I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
