yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize