I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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