you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
