I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Are we still banned from the library?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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