my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
