I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
