So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
