so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
