three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
