I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
