The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I need water and some morals
Lo siento on account of my penis...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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