I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
