I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
