hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize