Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
