All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
