I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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