Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
