Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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