So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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