She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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