see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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