we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
