Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
