Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
there is puke in my bra ... again
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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