i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
