worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
