the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
