thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
