if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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