Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
